Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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