Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
