It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
