Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
