i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
