OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
