It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
