the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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