if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
