I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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