Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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