don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
