It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
