I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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