so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize