There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
