she looked like the bat from fern gully.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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