Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize