WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
this beer tastes like vomit already
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
