Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
