Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
