At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
