The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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