Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
