At least make sure they are 18
Why
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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