No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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