When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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