i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize