Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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