fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
