my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I understand Curling. That high.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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