i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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