Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
