just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
