Slut skills are useful in every country.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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