You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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