its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish i was in the wii world.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
