Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
