Buhtt sex?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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