I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
