he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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