how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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