I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
