yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
