Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
