I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Be still, my beating vagina.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
