i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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