marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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