is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
