I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
