I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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