No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
