i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
