i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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