"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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