3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize