How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
