The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
