All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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