I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
