): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You are a booty call, not a friend.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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