lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
