You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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