Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is the high leading the old right now
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
